So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
