you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
