I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My ATM looks so different sober.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
