Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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