I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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