so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
