We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
