So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
