he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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