Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
