rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
