Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
