Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
