K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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