Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
where does the pee come out of this thing
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize