Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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