would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize