He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
