i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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