i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
