went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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