i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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