someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
