I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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