Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
