i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
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You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
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She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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