Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
