just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
