k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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