no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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