someone get that fucking seahorse.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
