I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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