we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
