just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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