I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
