He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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