What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
wow bdsm is so cute
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
