I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
