i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
