I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I am naked and annoyed.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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