ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
