im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
