After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
