Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
