As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
