If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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