She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
