I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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