how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
