: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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