You just made me feel so damn special
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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