people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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