He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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