We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
