you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
