I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize