weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I don't deserve a penis
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
