I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
