thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
