I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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