i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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